What a sweet place to be. In a place that Kenneth and Kenny share, called home. To see, they're little sister, walking around with little toys, to see, Kenny hugging his little sister on his lap, to see their mother, busy as ever, the never ending cleaning up, singing together with the TV theme song.
This is what I call sweet. As I observe Kenny and his little sister playing, I can't help wondering, what have I been missing? At home, especially, the total loneliness, the segregation, the quietness.
GAH! It's unbearable!
ps: Thanks Kenneth for lending me your computer to blog. And Kenny, aren't you a shy kid, putting on your clothes the minute you see me! xD
We should, sometimes, sit down, and appreciate the passing moments in our life. To praise, to love, to appreciate.
I praise the CDs around me, keeping me company when noone's home.
I praise my phone, for connecting my friends and I.
I praise hotmail, for doing a such wonderful job, for too, it has connect my friends from the other side of the world, as well as some locally.
I praise my grandmother, for always being such a nag, but still, never fail to show me her kindness.
I praise my mother, for being a younger version of my grandmother, a fierce nag, and still, never fail to show me how much she loves me. Not to mention the food she makes! :D
I praise my father, the economical support of our family. Though he's not at home most of the time, still, I never blamed him.
I praise my sister, for being such a great support, even when she's in Singapore. And I, apologize, for giving cold shoulders whenever you're around.
I praise my classmates. For being there with me when there's highs and lows. I thank you, for witnessing the changes in me. For understanding, for influencing, for carving me into a better person I am today. Though, there's still flaws, just like what Jordan says, but it's okay, if we combine our flaws, our weaknesses, and turn them into something, beneficial.
I praise my close friends, and good ones, the ones that's not my classmate, for knowing the true side of me, and never gave up on me. Friends like you guys, are just rare like diamonds. Our friendship is just like diamond too, not only rare, but tough, as well.
I praise the teachers, for giving us not only guidance in studies and out future, but also being good adult friends that teenagers now should have.
I praise the government, for providing sufficient electricity and water. For providing comfortable living enviroment. At least, we're not in war nor living in harsh conditions. You've done a great job!
I praise god, for giving me, so many things to praise.
For giving me sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell. For giving me a brain to think, for giving me a working body. For giving emotions, that enriches life even more.
The ocean, the lands, the air, the greens and the animals. Humans misused them, and that what cause the suffering we are in, right now.
I praise, those who has shunned and bruised me, that was, a truly magnificent job you've done there. For it is essential, in molding a better, stronger me.
Thank you, readers, for having such patience, in reading what I praise. Lastly, I praise you.
Letting myself drift... Letting myself bruise... Didn't want to cheer up, because sometimes it just feels better for things to be this way...
How does it feel, to love somebody, that you know you shouldn't.
How does it feel, to know that the person you love, was taken.
How does it feel, when you're doing things for the person you love, but it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to be.
How does it feel, when the person you love is being friendly to another person, but you.
How does it feel, that you could only befriend them, but never get over that line.
Alas, I should just snap out of it. I know my limits. And I should probably cope with it. I'm matured enough, to know what is wrong, what is right, whether this is love or not. Yea, I should know better.
Looks matter. You cannot deny that. The increase in good looking guys and beautiful ladies had blinded us with how important moral is.
Who care about moral? Even the moral gripping Chinese are starting to get blinded by it. As long as your partner is more handsome, richer, has a sexy body, then you'll be dominating the social pyramid.
The world is realistic. You know it is.
Even the little detail like what is their hairstyle, what they are wearing, their attitude. Attracts thousand upon thousands of people. The center of attention.
Who cares if you're the most decent guy, who cares if you have brains, who cares if you have a kind heart? People now want looks and money! Of course, not all of them are, but still, the majority is realistic and materialistic.
So, don't you people out there feel lucky that you have a pretty face and hot body? Appreciate it.
ps: This was, a little random. I am not posting this just to show how jealous I am. I know I'm not attractive, at all, and I know I don't have a hot body. So if you think I'm just a jealous and ball-less bastard, then by any means, be my guest.
We hugged. But I know it's just a friendly one. And will always be. We hugged, and I didn't allow myself to go anymore further. We hugged, and I felt like the world luckiest person, but yet, at the same time, the most miserable one.
You gave the sighted world a breathe of new life.
The look in your eyes, so beautiful. The way you look back into mine. The way we looked into each others eyes. My heart skipped a beat.
I watch you grow, and it was spectacular. I watch you grow, it was beautiful. I watch you grow, and it started to hurt, because I know, I am not allowed to love you.
I kept my distance, and it shall be this way. For you are, taken.
I won't make a move.
I just, want to hug you now. To feel your warmth, to feel your heart beat, to get to smell you. To acknowledge I'm still alive.
Is this how it feels? To love someone that you know you cannot get them to love you too.
1st of August, a friend of mine's birthday party. It was quite a memorable one. One of my last parties with her, and with mostly of the friends that attended the party last night.
It'll be my last year to do a lot of things here.
Final year...
It's getting over me, and I can't stop feeling sad about it. When graduation comes, it'll be a great blend of excitement and great sadness.
Excited that I made it through 6 years in Yu Yuan. That I've spent time with so many of my classmates, through good an bad times. Excited, that I've made my classmates my good and personal friends. Glad, that I cherished they're day as well as they cherished mine. They seen changes in me, as well as I seen changes in them. We all became much better persons than before. *Leave the rest I wanna say when graduation day comes*
Sad, because I'm about to leave the place that I've studied, had fun with tears and joyfulness in it, sweat that has dropped onto the school group, dedication to my orchestra. Hah, orchestra...
Emptiness returns. All over again.
After all the things that you put me through, you think I despise you, but in the end, I wanna thank you, cause you make me that much stronger.
