Inside the MRT...在巴士里。。。

Inside the MRT, inside the bus... I took the time to understand myself even more, and also to think of what I want in my future. I found out, that this time, even if I am in love again, but I feel totally different, it's like a brand new, better me, and I am totally crazy for it. I realize, this is the first time I let myself love someone so deep, I've taken things even more seriously than before, and that, I realize, this is the relationship that I have been looking. And because of that, I've became somewhat "annoying". It brought out that romantic side of me. It brought out that dedicated side of me. It brought out my fun and loving side even more. It was a beautiful process. It made me feel wholesome. And I dare say, I'm ready. The things left for me to do, is to be

patient, and not to be so "full" of me first, cause I gotta save all my love when things goes steady. Right now, I just wanna be as positive as possible. Learn to love myself more before loving someone else, and try to be more in control as not to be so annoying. =)

You are always in my heart :)

在快铁里，在巴士里。。我拿了一些时间来更了解自己，而且也在思考。我发觉这次，虽然我恋爱了，可是我感觉自己蜕变成一个更好更新的我。我也发觉，这是我第一次爱一个人爱得那么深，我对这份爱看待得更认真，因为这就是我要的完美感情 （relationship）。因为这样，我也成为了一个好像很”麻烦／多事“的人。这份爱，把我浪漫、纯真、更好玩及更关爱的一面都显示出来了。这是一个美丽的蜕变。他令我感到更完整。我也敢说，我准备好了。现在我需做的，就是要耐心、也不要把我的所有先”显“出来，因为必须保存下来，当所有事情稳定下来了才给他我的所有。我现在也要正面地看待东西。 我要爱自己，才可以爱他更多。哦！也要学习自我控制。 哈哈～

我爱你！ （完）

我脑子里在想啥～？

就那么巧合，遇见了你。在某个场合结束后，思念着你。假期时，告诉了你我对你有感觉。运动会，完全没有看彼此。开学了，几乎每天陪着你。来新加坡前一天，把所有时间献给你。来到新加坡后，放下了他。放下他后，默默地等你 。默默等待的同时，发觉只是在想你。别人一眼都不看。这时发现，我很爱你了。无时无刻都渴望能回家乡。疯狂的思念中，也掉了很多泪。不停地告诉自己要坚持下去。曾经使用饥饿的方式折磨自己。很常呆呆地看你在面子书线上，或呆呆地等你上MSN。能看你上线已经很满足了。我不找你，因为你说希望我能以朋友的方式对待你，不想太过火，宁愿等你来找我，所以才这么做。当你在MSN找我，或在面子书上留言，我感觉像在飞天！整个傻佬一样，跳来跳去。第二天在学校都会笑容灿烂。我会吃醋，是因为我不能在你身边。我也在慢慢学习不要那么会吃醋啦～ 你告诉我你还有东西还没解决，我就慢慢等你，让你完全解决那回事。你说还没准备心情，还是老话，我会等你调整好心情。你就安心的解决吧！我在这里不会放弃的！你要加油！我也要加油！

A special dedication, to a special friend

To that special friend, that I've known for my whole life.

You were always the figure of cheerfulness, in front of people you never showed sorrow and even if you are shedding tears, they are tears of happiness. From young we were good friends, you seen me grow up, in a lot of ways, you might even seen me crash and burn before. Whatever the things that happened, you witness most of them.

Recent years, things worsen. And I have never seen such turbulence. I never really imagined that things would have a such a sudden twist. From that moment when you told me things had changed, my heart has nothing but grief for you.

You've always been so strong, and I've never seen you shed tears about it, instead, you seen me shed a lot of tears because of it. I may never understand how you felt, until I myself gets involved in the same problem, which I, and everyone else would wish not to ever happen.

I will not tell you to accept your family, it may be your duty, it may be your responsibility as the eldest son, but I will still not say such words to you, for you have suffered, and you deserve to have your freedom; I will not say that you can't live without the shop, for you are capable of other greater things than just spraining and sweating your life out; I will not ever, ever tell you to accept that woman, who has ruined everything- a beautiful family, a beautiful parental and child relationship, a beautiful place to stay, a beautiful and secure future, for you have the rights not to accept her. But I will tell you this, which you might have already realize.

Bear with it

Simple as that, but difficult to do. It's hard, but you still have to do it.

I feel really bad for not being able to be back over home to help you out, if you have no ride back home, heck I'll drive all the way to the airport; no time for gym? I'll get you up at 6am just for it. Need a ride to school? Just call me up!

You will never walk this life alone, for you have us, your friends. Be it whether they are your new ones, or old ones. Whether they are now in the same place as you are, or across the ocean, sitting helplessly in front of the computer whilst listening to you suffer.

Be strong, and pray for a better future, that's what we all can do right now.

ps: Now my macbook has tears! haha

A little song suggestion. "I will be" and "Lift me up" by Christina Aguilera. Good listen to it, you'll love it, especially when you're in this situation. Good luck! Friend.

Special post

It's that time again, I wanna speak out, how much I appreciate . I appreciate my parents for giving me life and nourishing me.

I miss miss making Tzy Tyng laugh, miss watching Stella Ng turned on and laughing her ass off at almost anything, miss Su Tien for pointing at things and LOL at them, miss Simon Chong for his wittiness, and his Perdana ( :P ), miss Phui's reaction whenever I said her butt is big, miss the time Kai Lun and I spent in the classroom, when Jordan is always the rational one, Sheldon being the opposite (not always). I miss Connie Chin, my precious and cute daughter, I miss San Teck, even though he teases me a lot. I miss Jie How, Yan Hong, Yu Ze, Mui Yee, Wei Wei, and the rest of S3A2009 and S2A2008. Don't forget the tiger brand washing board CEO, Cheung heye :D

I also wanna thank my juniors, Jnam, Ly Heng, Horng Seng, Fenny, Jia Zhi, "tan xin qi", Sue Lin Tan. haha~ you guys were great helpers and friends to be with. I'm glad to see you guys grow up too. The leaders of the student body you guys are now =) and Ly Heng, Jnam and Sue Lim, it's Jaguar! not cucumber!! ROAR

To the senior 2s, mainly Janelle, Joselyne, Joseline (viang), Tj Lim, Gordon, Ka Wai, Kenny Lim, the couple (yes! you 2 -.-) , Ok Yap, Yap khong wai? , etc. You guys are truly amazing. Never really thought I would be so friend with you guys. It was just all fun with you guys, and also, not to forget the advice i gave you all. Those moments were just priceless =)

To the senior 1s, and of course, you guys are the closest to me, and it's true. Cause mostly you guys are from Chinese Orchestra. Reynold, Danny, Jun, See Jie, Beverly, Wong yen Li, Liau Kai Shi, you guys surely didn't let me down, and I still wanna apologize to you guys if I didn't do a great job as your president and conductor. And to Aaron, it was the greatest pleasure to have ever known you. You surely made the gan bu camp even more exciting! Thank you so much. Ah Sum, and Herlyne, welcome to the bunch too. I'm just glad there wasn't any generation gap between me and you guys. I appreciate that. And I can't wait to get back to Sandakan too.

Let's not forget those like Avelin, MeiTze, Bernice, and Robert. I may not talk to you guys that much anymore, but you guys are well aware, I have a large capacity in my heart. Even if I have half of my heart to the person I love, the rest I still have space for you guys

A special special special special thanks to Jade Chin and Jamie Gan. You 2 are my supporting rocks when I needed support the most, especially when things seem so vulnerable and sensitive to me right now in great city Singapore. Jade, my primary and secondary school mate, it was a total blessing for you to tell that you'll be in the same school as I am! Jamie, you are the blessing that came along with the previous blessing. You 2 totally makes me feel home. All the things we gone through felt like we knew other for ages, yet, it's just only week 3 of school! Brace yourself for more turbulence girls, as we are going to enter an even more bumby ride straight ahead. I will not know what will happen in the future, whether one day some offer letter comes or whatever. For now, appreciate the time we have. The webcam whoring we had, the tears you seen me shed, the hyped up moment and gay dancing we had, all these moments, appreciate it.

DME/FT/1A/01 classmates! Won't forget you guys too~ Brandon, Aaron, Ryan, Dain, Saiful, Yee Chung, Jin Yu, Shawn, Faris, Jie An, etc. Haha!

last but not least........

I FCKING MISS DRIVING!! :DDDD

Singapore Updates 1

Blue blue blue blue blue~ I'm so down in the blues :)

Yea, Simon, I hear you and here's my update for today.

*Puts on earpiece and listening to "Not Myself Tonight" while head banging in school canteen*

Speaking of school, I am finally opening up about it. And I'm gonna break them down into Q&A sort of shits for you guys :D

Q: Where are you?

A: I'm currently in Singapore Polytechnic, population, unknown haha!

Q: What course I'm in?

A: Mechanical Engineering.

Q: So, how's life over there in Singapore.

A: So far so good, I've been to Singapore a few times so basically I've gotten used to it here. Transportation is superb, extremely safe environment, not even scared of wandering out at night, even though I don't. Lots of laws and rules to obey, which is good. How about yours? :D

Q: Made any new friends there?

A: Who do you think I am? I'm Anson for goodness sake, of course I made friends, but not as close as those who grew up with me :) Except for Jade and Jamie, the 2 sabah girls :)

And as for CCA? I got into Singapore Polytechnic Chinese Orchestra! Was told to attend practice the same day I signed up for it. And was then offered to join the concert that's being held on the 30th of May! Talk about lucky! :D

Took lots and lots and lots of picture while I'm in Singapore, to drop by my facebook profile. What just this link here :)

http://www.facebook.com/ansonljh

For now, even I am in my blog, I still don't want to open up anything about my love life, even if I am kinda depressed about it lately, but oh well, what the heck =)

ps: Sorry for not replying so much :) Love ya!