Trip down memory lane

I never enjoyed my junior life. It was horrible. The constant suffocation I suffered. It would be a shock for everyone, to know that I am not what you know right now, 6 years ago. Bad things just constantly pop up, I was pessimistic, seldom took part in any events, I was bullied a lot, I have no self-confidence what so ever, I was gloomy, and I was used, all the time. I even came to the point where I went suicidal. A lot of things bruised me. The trust that I gave shattered. The friends I lost because of it. The broke down I get, and only a few witness when I totally broke down and cry. I was soiled. I felt ashamed of it. I loathed the junior me.

Then came senior life.

And it was the breakthrough period in my life. The first day of Senior 1, before I stepped into the classroom, I told myself that I have to shed that old skin of mine, I have to be more optimistic, I have to find the confidence in me. And I have. Friends around me started to notice the change in me. And I continued my metamorphosis throughout the 3 years. I started to gain confidence that I never thought I would one day behold. I became a more cheerful, witty, humorous, optimistic person. I started to work center stage, gained speaking skills, and was even given the chance to shine during my last year in secondary school. I lead an orchestra of more than 100 people. I was finally able to say that I am enjoying my secondary school life, loud and proud, with success, friends that I can entrust my life on, and a whole bunch of great teachers as friends.

Life moves on, and finally, I graduated.

My soul search continues, I continued to explore myself, and constantly look back and see how much I have grew up. I realize, all the suffering I had, all the emotional break downs, all the bruise that I received, all the lost that I gained, causes me to become a stronger person. Believe me, not everyone can pull through all the hardship, and if they can make it, they will be so much stronger and better. And right now, I am a fighter!

For you out there who once harmed me, I shall not despise you, in fact I want to thank you, for making me a better, wiser, stronger person. For those who can relate to this, keep pushing on, there's always light at the other end of this long, dark and cold tunnel.

More to come.. :)