Confused...

Well...i never said this to anyone..but i feel a little bit confused lately..mainly confusing on school, relationship and life...

well, i'll talk about school. I study Yu Yuan Secondary School,it's an independant school. I'm just so confused that why students tend to stay in Yu Yuan while they hate studying in it..Sometimes, i also got the impression that i want to change to Sung Siew or Tiong Hua, cause it seems to be cooler studying there. BUT, i choose to stay back in Yu Yuan. well, mostly because of my school orchestra, if i leave now, i will waste four years of time i spent in that orchestra. After i sat for my PMR and i choose to study science class, my mom was quite worried that i would flunk my science subjects and she even tried to convice me to change to Sung Siew.Still, i choose to stay in yy... but part of my heart wanted to change to Sung Siew...

Relationship, that's the most confusing part in my confused world...I have a friend, i'll call him MK. MK and i are friends since primary school. I consider him quite close to me. But, as we grew older, MK started to boss me around. He even betrayed me when i was in junior 3! I started to get cautious whenever I'm around him. We even have arguments once in awhile over a small matter. I am always the one to apologize eventhough it's not my fault. But still i choose to be good friends with him. On the other hand, i have a few friends in Sung Siew. Though we don't know each other for a veryy loooong time, i enjoyed the times hanging out and chatting with them. I also enjoy sharing my PMR experiences with them as they are sitting for it this year and also watching them do what they like to do most, dancing. I really wanted to be good friends with them. But still, i didn't want to lost MK as a friend eventhough some part of me is struggling away from his clutches of 'evil'...

The second confusing part of my relationship is that am I really normal? Eventhough now people have been gossiping about me falling for a girl in another school. And eventhough all those gay things had finally died down, some poeple still suspect that i'm gay... they even asked me whether i'm gay, all i can do is smile because i just don't know wat to say...... but one thing is for sure, im definitely not gay anymore!!

And as for life, still the same confusing questions. Why am i born this way? oR why am i even born? those kind of stuff. BUT!! i never thought of suicide!!I just hope one day all these confusing problems will end because it's giving me a headache...