It's goodbye...

In a blink of an eye, it's already been 2 years as a Senior in school. SPM is ending in 3 days, well at least for me. And it'll be goodbye to all my friends that's leaving.

Kai Lun, Hans ,Jordan, Sheldon, Bernice, Gary, Jia Yi, Khi Ching, Mui Tzan, Young Kee, Shawn, Kah Heng, Mandy, Michelle, Chia Eng,Robin, Heng Jian.. etc.. there's just too much..

It's kinda sad really, 2 years is not long at all, I didn't even get to know all of them, there's lovely Hans; smart and playful Jordan; Sheldon, also smart, and kinda cute? The cute dynamic duo, Shawn and Young Kee; rich ass and smart ass Gary; The genius trio, Mui Tzan, Jia Yi, Khi Ching; the queen of brains and speeches, Kah Heng; the puny but still having a big heart Bernice; BIG and LOUD Kai Lun; the noisy duet Michelle and Mandy; Miss treasurer of the year Chia Eng, cutie Robin; CEO of Yap enterprise Heng Jian...

Haha, not a very good description I guess, some don't even have a good impression on me, I think o_O

And today, it was like, the last day of tuition in Jonathan's. Look at how time flies. It's already been two years. He gave us a lot of helping hands in our school work, he's heavenly! He gives the lectures and I'll miss them someday. He could be annoying, yet entertaining at the same time, and please lah, give him a break, he's really helpful. I apologize for anything bad I've done to him =(

Next year will be a quiet year, ignoring the fact that Phui, Simon and I will be the main megaphones in class, but yea, it's going to be very extremely different.

Mock trial will be so different without the gang, Jordan, Sheldon, Kai Lun and Shawn..

Class will be much more cooler with the empty spaces at the back of the class....

Sports day will be not be so fun since I can't goof off with others....

I'll miss the good old days, when I posed and Michelle will go 'YUCK!'

I'll miss the good old days, when the Jordan starts to make fun of people...

I'll miss the good old days, when Sheldon looks totally blur in class...

I'll miss the good old days, when Young Kee and Shawn are being harrassed for being TOO cute...

I'll miss the good old days, when we played madly with everyone in class...

I'll miss the good old days, when we had nothing to do and chatted the whole day in class...

I'll miss the good old days, when I argue gaily with Michelle about her being older than me for almost a year...

I'll miss the good old days in tuition, when Jonathan goes all pissed and starting lecturing us...

I'll miss the good old days, when I start to get annoyed by others in class but forget about it in a flash...

I'll miss the good old days, when slowly, I see everybody around grow up..

I'll miss the good old days, when we celebrate birthdays together...

I'll miss the days when Kai Lun and the others in class screw Kah Poh to shut his mouth up..

I'll miss the camwhoring time with Hans...

I'll miss the special moments with everyone in class...

I'll miss the days when Kai Lun starts to invade our privacy... hmm wait, not that much xD

and etc...
There's no point crying over spilt milk, but there's a point crying, when there's no chance for us to see each others anymore.

Here, I wish you all, happy always and be successful in the things that you want to be and cherish the moments....

It sucks to be me

I really love this song from Avenue Q, funny yet meaningful.

It Sucks to Be Me.

Chances

Chances, what are they? Sometimes they come knocking at your door, sometimes it's at the grasp of your hand, yet, sadly, sometimes it waves goodbye to you on the railroad of life.

I missed a lot of chances in life, and sure, I will regret, and stomp myself, blaming myself, why letting it go, why making the wrong decisions in life, making your own life worse, miserable, sucky, screwable... Okay that word was kinda made up... but what the heck...

I want to apologize, for the things that I've done that dissatisfies you. I wanna say I'm sorry if I ever hurt anyone's feeling. I wanna say sorry to those out there that I showed disrespectfulness (another made up word) to anyone. I apologize if I pissed anyone of you off before. Please forgive me. I don't feel like I ever have the chance to say this anymore, so many of you are leaving, now is SPM too. I just wish there's a way for me to turn back time and undo the mistakes I've done...

I'm sorry, and also, I'm kinda grateful that everything turned out this way. So, in addition, thank you.

SPM

What do you know, it's SPM break time, BM was dandy, Sejarah was suprisingly okay o_o, english was swell, math was unpredictably hard =( .... Now we're left with, Add Maths, Moral, Chemistry, Biology, Physics, Chinese, EST and ART... oh my goodness... )=

I get somehow stressed from all these, Mr Ng was right, we should never study last minute, it's bad, now I see. i told myself to study right? Why couldn't I listen to myself? Instead I was 'relaxing' myself, DAMN ME!

So many things happening, not too mention I miss some of them, hmm, it's like YOU WIN SOME YOU LOSE SOME. I finally get that....

I was chosen as English mc for the graduation ceremony for this years Senior 3, and heck because of this, I missed a few precious moments in my life. During the last day of school, which is also my last rehearsal, I missed my chance to give a farewell for my classmates who's leaving this year, people cried while singing songs in class, while my friend and I are stuck in the hall.

And then comes the graduation ceremony, which means a lot to me, because this year's Senior 3 is dearest to me, yet I'm stuck on stage, not being able to take a last look at them properly from the front when they're singing, this sucks! =(

I got forgetful too....Was it because of the stress? I don't know, sometime I don't even know whether this is called stress. The day before SPM my mind was blank and all I kept doing was worrying that I won't do well for my SPM... Which is in consequence, wasting more of my time....

I hate me.

SCREW YOU ANSON!

YEA SCREW YOU ANSON!- a shout out for myself.

Im going crazy, I'm getting nags and complains from my parents, my tuition teacher and probably, myself for not FUCKING STUDYING!

YES I ADMIT IT! I AM LOSING NANY MANY MANY MANY MANY TIME! Yet, why am I still wasting time blogging NOW!?

I just wanna bid goodbye to everyone for now. Goodbye computer, goodbye blog, goodbye maple, goodbye internet, and hello intensive studying, this is what you get for not studying early, yes I know Jonathan, mom and dad! I should have been studying, LAUGH AT ME ALL YOU WANT OK!? Because I so deserve it!

AS FOR NOW, GOODBYE!

ps: 13 days to SPM

PUNCHING IS FUN!

Punching is so damn FUN! I'm starting to realize that punching things to make me feel less tensed. Especially after another fucking round of nags. it's easy, just clutch your fist tight and bang! Just hit anything, the table and the wall is my favorite. Who cares whether it hurts when you're so fucking pissed/tensed. BWahahahhaaHAHAHhaaha!

ps: This is the results of being tensed, for me that is xD

It's random

Hello everyone, this is just a random entry, hmm, about teenage life I guess. I know I know I should be studying, but, I wanted to blog for so long, throw me a fricking bone okay?

Where to start where to start? School perhaps? School is fine, if you put the exams and SPM aside that is. We're quite NUMB with the tests teachers are giving, I don't know about you guys but I know that I am.

You know, our ego is a funny thing. We want to suppress it, yet please it at the same time. Hmmmmm, let's put it this way. People like to look good, yet don't want to let others think that they're ego maniacs. This also leads to peer pressure. But does it even exists? How would we fricking know? People are so unpredictable nowadays they might just stab you in the back! Becareful now... xD

Adults nagging is kinda unbearable nowadays. Maybe it's the fact that SPM is getting nearer. Parents nag, teachers nag, heck even my grandmother nags. I'm going to burst okay? I know what I'm doing, I know I haven't studied MUCH yet, but please, just let me do what I'm doing ok? I am Anson you know!

I get sick easily when I'm being pressurized... I got a fricking cold today and I could not even concentrate on my Add maths paper. Why is people so selfish lately, I asked whether the fan can be off since I'm sneezing my lungs out, and my friend said that others a feeling hot, so I was like, fine, I'll let the majority like I ALWAYS do..

There it goes, sneezing and sneezing throughout the whole exam period. How delightful...

Good luck tml, it's chemistry, don't let miss Kwan down :p

ps: 26 days to SPM

Performance last night.

I seldom get pissed during a performance... It always end up like this. The audience in the small town of Sandakan is just being disrespectful. Why don't you people try to be on stage while we're down there being noisy, how would you feel!?

Alvin (teacher) just told me appreciate the fact people invited us to perform, but Please! Perform or not performing, the audience here really have to show some respect.

Pissed...

But that's not all the bad thing from the performance last night. After my performance. I was brought to meet a man. We shook hands and he said he would like me to help him tune his yang qin. I was like, oh sure!

Shi Binn and I enjoyed the dinner i guess, despite the fact his finger got major cuts from practicing the songs, he liked the whole performance. I'll got over this matter, so yea, happy Sunday ^^

I admit..

I don't have admit it, cause it was really obvious, yes, I'm really upset lately. Because one of the person that known me for a decade or so is going to leave me.

I knew his for 12 years. I won't make him stay, because it's his future, I just wished that he knew how I felt the moment I heard the news. He's going to let go not only us, but also the orchestra, one of the thing that matter to me most in school.

I couldn't face the fact that he's going leave. Yes I know that we're going to part one day, but it was too sudden, I wasn't even prepared for it. It already took a large amount of effort for me to get over the fact that Kai is leaving. Kai is another friend of mine that I knew for over a decade. It was painful too.

But this just hurts me more than I thought it would, only time would let me heal. I hope I still could go on without both of them. I know i would, yet again, time will tell.

Kai was like the banana on my banana sundae, while Simon is like the icy toppings. What fun is it to eat banana sundae when both of the important ingredients aren't in it?

Teehee

I'm just messing with Anson's blog because I'm insanely bored right now. Don't get mad, Anson XD

I'll be back....Somehow

When I made a decision to get myself back into the blogging world, there it goes again, obstacles. First there's issues with my parents, then there's SPM bla bla bla. Oh speaking of SPM, there's only 60 days left. We'll be in a state of emergency again.

To everyone reading this, I'll be back! You can count on it. >=)

early farewells...

Recently, I'm making a habit of bidding everyone from my class that's online in MSN good night every night.

End of the year is approaching, my senior 3 friends are going to graduate, and there I am standing, watching them trying on their graduation robe. I was really going to cry, but one of my closest senior 3 friend told me to save it for the graduation ceremony.

I can't control my senior 2 friends' will power to leave this year. I haven't treat them better, Some I didn't speak to for the whole year. And there they go, persuiting their dreams. All I can do, is just waving my hand and bidding them goodbye and good luck.

Kai is going to leave soon, everytime he says that he's leaving for Singapore, my heart will drop. The idea of him not being beside me for my last year in Yu Yuan is kinda painful. Yes we have our arguements, but I'd known Kai for so long, even if he piss me off, we still get along quite well. I'm going to miss him.

The twins, Shawn, and Howard are going to leave too. I am really going to miss them loads. Especially Howard, my primary school classmate / cousin. We spent time together preparing for the mock trial competition. I get to know the twins and Shawn better and everyone is getting along quite well, the same things happen, it's painful for them to leave as well...

All I have left is a few friends, and of course Phui and Simon.

I lways see great things from both of the,, and I really wish them god luck in the future. Especially to Phui. Btw Simon, TAG YOU'RE IT! *there's no chop!!!!* bwahahahaha~

Gloomy Friday...

The storm clouds gathered, the cold wind brushed my face and hair. The coldness... the loneliness without you...

The sorrowful moan of the crows, the cuddling of birds on the wire and trees, the cold wind still blowing.... The quietness, the coldness, the loneliness at home... you weren't here beside me...

Absence makes the heart grows fonder

I understand it perfectly...

Fine! >=(

Oh this is how it is huh? The good looking people get to cared more than the common looking people? I know I'm common looking, but please, I'm human too! You don't care about how I feel don't you?! All you care is how the better looking people felt?

i have feelings too! I admit that I've done wrong things, and you have you're ever right to scold me, but please, why does everytime the good looking ones done something wrong you won't mind too much and just nag for awhile?! Is it because they're so GOOD LOOKING that you forget all your anger?!

Fine! Seem you like it this way, continue what you're doing okay? The good looking people need your care okay? Go, SHOO!

Spams..

"If you don't reply this, your whoever-it-is will die" Oh wait, how about "If you don't reply this you will lose your bf/gf in days/weeks"

I mean hello, don't you feel bothered just by receiving these kind of messages? Will you or will you not lose your loved ones? I tell you what, I received tons of these kind of messages, claiming that my mother will die in a few days, and now it's already a few years! o_O

The young and naive me once thought it's so sacred and it's real and I didn't want my mom to die or me not having a girlfriend...

And speaking of girlfriends, do you people out there really think that you won't get eternal love by just a spam message? Hello! Love is destined, love has to be searched on your own. Losing it or gaining it, it depends on you, and yea, a little bit of fate...

Please, save money, oil prices will rising, and so is everthing! Heck, i am not even full enough with my meal when I'm eating outside. Price gone up, and the quantity gone down! Don't you have any ideas forwarding these chain messages is really wasteful? I mean, why don't you use that money to either SMS or call people? The phone company still earns money right?

Please please please, don't be so wasteful, the item prices rises so ridiculously, i can't imagine f one day the world will be a better place to live. (like yea right it's already 'better' now...=.=)

I don't know whether I should say anything about the world politics, but if you have seen, it's obviously CORRUPTING! WHy couldn't they put away they're differences and just together make our mother Earth once again fertile and peaceful?

Seat changes....

In another story.....

*felt like posting this before i continue with my homework*

Our seats got changed... Simon and Kai were separated from me! T-T

The separation was a little painful for me. Because after we separated, it's like, we seldom talked anymore... Robin and I haven't even spoken to each other for days... And as for Simon, he seldom laughs at the things I said, not like what he used to laughed at.... :(

Just now it was art class in school. Kai, Simon and I get to sit together and the class was so NOSIY! The teacher left so we didn't bother :p

Connie *our classmate* said that the three of us are very funny when we talk to each other. My god, she has no idea how much I miss the times us three spent together as class neighbours...

Simon and Kai, if you're reading this, good luck in SPM okay? Since I'm not here to bother/ disturb you two in class, take this opportunity to learn something and listen in class, especially you Kai, you like falling asleep in class, even when you're sitting in FIRST CLASS....I'm sure Tzan is doing a good job waking you up?

Walk, Breathe and See....

I think I'm slowly addicted to walking slowly. I'm a fast paced person, and I always complain people for walking too slow. My choice of songs to listen is the fast type because I think slow songs slow down my life. I like it when I'm in front of everybody in certain things *homework and studies is never "in front" *

It's starting to get stressful during the 2nd semester. School, homeworks, tests, orchestra and SPM. So this is how it feels to be 'important' and busy. No wonder I'm starting to slow down my pace and just enjoy the scenes around, to relax my mind and just throw away everything for a moment.

BUT! I cannot let it go forever, like I said before, SPM is coming! OMG OMG OMG OMG! Gotta study hard, gotta get away all the distraction... :p

Homework....HERE I COME!!! T-T *ad. maths*

I took a walk...

Well it's just a short walk from the junction of Lorong 1, Taman Tyng back to my house.

Well, for me, i don't like getting anywhere late. And today I was going home a little bit late because Gary has to pick up someone. Well at first I felt tensed but due to the fact that he's the only ride home so yea I calmed down eventually.

He kept asking me whether I'm in a hurry or not, and I kept saying it's fine. And then he told me that i have to walk back home cause it will be a big turn for him to get back to his car. And I was like, "fine... =.="

So I started walking, it's not a very long journey. The sky is not too bright because it's around six something so it's kinda orange. And the wind is cool. I feel so calm. I slowed down my steps and enjoyed the sceneries. i even stood next to the drain and looked at the little fishes swam pass the swallow water. I let my mind wander for awhile.

i felt very relaxed. The blowing of the cool evening breeze, the dimmed sky, the chirping of birds, the silence of a quiet neighbourhood. It's just perfect....

I wish time will slow down for awhile, and let me relax my mind and just let me let go everything and fall into a deep slumber of relaxation. That will be perfect.

Friends

Hey, Phui blogged about her friends around her, and I should do the same, pass it on by the way if you wanna blog about the people around you...

I wanted cherish the moment with the people around me, but I'm afraid I didn't....

If you sit next to Kai Lun, please be a dear and wake him every time he fall asleep in class, he does that alot. He might be very talkative if you know him well. He loves to play with you, but SPM is near so try not to, and I'm sure he won't play so much either. Overall, he's fun to be with. Remind him what to bring to school and what exams we're going to sit for. He's forgetful sometime. xD Kai also hate people ignoring him, so please give some response if he calls you, or else.....

If you sit next Alex, you also have to be the alarm clock. He likes sleeping during chemistry and add maths. Try to talk to him I guess, I didnt do so, poor him :(

If you sit behind Lim Pui Pui and Liew Su Tien, don't bother them when they're doing homework, they don't like it... and they tend to ignore for that...xD

Simon sit next to Kai Lun, and him, along with kai and I, are the '3 Chinese Orchestra brothers'. WE KEEP THE CLASSROOM NOISY most of the time! xD We enjoy laughing, making fun of Kai, we enjoy looking at Simon dance and apparently I am always the pervert one.....=_=

OH well, whether Miss kwan will changes or not, it's up to her....

ps: Apparently phui's description is more detailed, oh well, she's good anyway :p

Heck!

Heck! Yesterday was one of the glorious day ever!

MY BIOLOGY PASSED AFTER ALL!

It appears that the teacher got the marks wrong and I wasn't in the classroom when the teacher showed us our average.

Oh well, people makes mistake.....

Gah....what the hell....that was yesterday's news....It seems that today I wasn't in a good mood.. No idea why...just very angst... Even scolded a classmate eventhough it's not my business at all...

A teacher was looking for him but he was in the canteen, and when he came back, I told him to go look for the teacher, but he said that let the teacher look for him, and I lost my temper and yelled," What kind of student ARE you!?" He, raised his voice too and said," What's wrong with you losing your temper early in the morning?!"

I was really angry and losing my temper I quickly calmed myself down before anything bad happened....

Simon was there to lift my spirits up by dancing in front of me, and I followed xD

In the end, peace was restored and I told that guy that I was in a bad mood so I lost my temper, he was OKAY with it, i think :p

Well SPM is approaching! I'm still using my time on computers instead of studying and revising.... Can anyone tell me how many days left to SPM? I'm lazy to count....=.=

Parent's day..

Well what do ya know, it's parent's day already.... which means i have to get my report card...

While waiting for my mom's turn to enter to get the report card ( Miss kwan doesn't allow students to enter, just parents), I found out where my ROSE went to( and I don't blame anyone I guess), and Wong Jia yi's father was my mother's classmate xD

So anyways, my mom went in and I waited for grueling 10 minutes....and my mom walked out of the classroom, holding my report card, and walked towards me......

I PASSED MY CHINESE!!! But somehow I FAILED one subject.... T-T

I made a promise not a fail any subjects to my mom, now I just have to suffer the consequences... I will leave chinese orchestra....

GOT'CHA!!!

Well i thought my mom will want me to leave chinese orchestra, but she was kidding about that, she just wants me to pay more attention to my academics as well as my co-curriculum...

"Yes mom...I will...."

Yes, both my mom and I were disappointed, i mean, how could I fail that subject? I have to do better this semester, plus SPM is creeping nearer and nearer... There will be less time for gaming and computer..

But there's still time for studying and LOVE! xD

So.....let's work hard together this semester!

ps: Congratulation to everyone who has done well in the 1st semester, and you better watch out! Cause anSon is here! xD

It's JEREMY's BIRTHDAY!!! OMG!!! wheeee~

Finally, I get to wait till 12am. but he's not online...oh well...

Jeremy, if you are reading this, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Bernice sent her regards too.

Teacher's day

Wow today was teacher's day celebration already!? There goes another main event of my school. SPM is getting nearer... And then the next day will be PARENTS DAY!!! Oh shit! Report cards!! T____________T

Just don't let me fail ANYTHING!

Well the shows was okay, but there are some boring ones, which is still okay. We gave a bouquet of roses for Mdm Christina! She had been very nice to us, and practically the mock trial team mates are calling her mom! xD

Speaking off roses, just now after the teachers day celebration, i lost my temper...damn I kicked the chairs...I lsot my rose....yes, i don't know i'm careless or what, i left my seat, where my rose was on, and next you know it, IT'S GONE! FUCK!

But still, I went for the movies, along with Kai, Gary, Fah, CJY, Leong Wei Wei and LJ.... watched get smart, and once again, I was the one laughing the loudest in the movies.... It was good!

And as for the happening.....the ending was abit disappointing i guess....but it's still okay...=.=

DAMN WHAT A BORING NIGHT!!! NOTHING TO DO! DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING!! =.=

Random again..

hey...school is going to start tomorrow...for me.... and well...I got used to not sitting in class the whole day, so tomorrow will be quite a challenge....

I had those kind of feelings again.....

I want to hide myself from people and not show myself. This time, it's more like a 'fed-up' feeling. I'm fed up in looking at all of THESE people, I don't wanna lay eyes on them. i dont want them to breathe near me, I'm tired of looking at these people from day to day. Yea sure, I like being in crowds, like looking at people, but right now, I wanna get away from it all, and hide myself, from being seen by anyone.

Pissed.... angry... humiliated... embarrassed...

How i wish... that i will not have those feelings....

Mock Trial finals

Oh wow, it's the finals already, and yea, we L-O-S-T. Which yea, i was disappointed at first, but after a few hour of thinking through, I went totally crazy ( the good way ).... We still celebrated for being Sabah 1st runner up. That's already good for the first-year us.

heh, we went to center point to watch movies, Kung Fu Panda was freaking awesome! i was the loudest guy laughing in the cinema. And then Eric took Andrea, Jordan, and I to the arcade to play some mind game. DAMN it's fun! Andrea lost her voice from laughing and cheering during in the arcade and in the movies. ME TOO! xD

We always write in the composition in school, that joining a competition/ camp, we can meet more friends. Well at first i thought that it was a little fake. But....It's true!

Andrea and Eric are now like siblings with me!

I did not regret choosing to join Mock Trial. I become closer with the others in the team. And of course knew new friends that i never thought of knowing, and got closer. And I'm pretty sure that Andrea and Eric think the same way too. =D

ps: Pictures for this trip will be posted as soon as the problem is solved. Have a good day! =D

Mock trial

Hey hey hey, I'm back from mock trial competition and orchestra camp. Dang it was fun! And tiring! :p

The semi final was very intense. SMK Lok Yuk is very good. The barristers had the debater attitude which is very scary when they cross examined Andrea and I. Anrea said that her mind went blank when she answered the opposing barristers, while I keep being confused by the questions. Somehow my answers made confused them as well....

In the end, the judge gave her comments...

" Plaintiff( SMK Lok Yuk), you all performed well today, the points of arguements were very good, but you all acted just like debaters, not lawyers, this is a court... but overall you all performed very well..."

"Defence (us) was also good, the two barristers ( Jordan and Sheldon) both aced jsut like real lawyers, both calm, but needed some emotions, just like the girls (Lok Yuk) *laugh*. And there's also a very good witness on your team.."

"And now, the winning team for this year semi final mock trial competition....the defendant."

*stares*

"Yeeeeeeeeeeessss!" , Mdm Chong screamed! The Lok Yuk students didn't clap, only our team clapped. We thought Lok Yuk will win 100%, they were really good, and Mdm Chong frowned when she was called to look at the results. Everyone was shocked! I even yelled "YOU SLY FOX!" and hitted teacher's shoulder.

I can't believe it, we won.....

FINALS HERE WE COME!

Exams

Hey, wow, look at my freaking blog, it's getting less and less post, darn I'm so disappointed in myself, and I once told myself to blog more often.... Now it's already May!!! SPM is like coming in about 6months time....T-T

last Thursday there was a talk about how to use our youth to the fullest. It's was really meaningful, it relfected me how much i had changed, from pessimistic to optimistic, eventhough sometimes i think about the dark side, I'm already way better than before, even Phui said so, right? :p

So, starting tomorrow will be my final examination, and, I won't be blogging for another whole week. By the way, on the 2nd last day of final exams, which is 22nd of May, I will be going to KK for my competition, and there goes another few days for me to blog, oh and not to mention when i get back from KK, which is the 25th of May, I need to go into camp immediately, which means i lost a few days of blogging again!!! RAWR~

See you ladies and gents in 2 weeks time! Cherio~!

Haiz...

Looks like I've done wrong again huh? My friend ignored me again, even though it was just the mere 40 minutes of school, i felt somehow left out, he didn't talk to me the whole period, and that was the last period of the day, if i goes on I might just explode...=.=

Looks like it can't do it...

Looks like i can't be different, i got used to the noisy, active, lame, being thought as a fag self..xD

It has been days, i told myself to change, I CANT! I just loving the silly me...@@

So, if you hate, continue hate me then...i don't mind, cause I am who I am! =D

Real pissed

"That's it, i cant stand it anymore, get away from me! I don't want to show myself to the world..."

I can't stand it anymore, people keep calling me a fag, now even people call me being not straight, I don't mind at first, cause i usually think that either they're joking, if not I'll be ignoring them.

Right now, it's just too much! Does the world really that i'm a fucking fag? Fine! I won't do anything! I won't speak anything that you people think it's gay. I won't do anything that is considered faggish, in fact, I will be just like a stone!

I don't want to show myself to the world anymore. I want to be kept in a confined space, with enough food, a laptop with unlimited battery, a cellphone that never go died, and unlimited access to wireless network

And by that time, I won't show myself anymore...

If you think this entry is fag, so whatever, i am really speechless.

Mock Trial

It's over..........the Mock Trial in Sandakan was over..............Yu Yuan Secondary School...............

WON

Yes we won. Sung Siew were really great. Even the magistrate said that he enjoyed the process of the whole mock trial. Not like those boring judges where you just sit there and give marks. NO! IN the end of the trial he's remarks was ,

" It's so good I dont want it to stop, can we PLEASE continue?"

Yes I lost my control during the questioning, I dont know which emotion to choose, the team told me to be emotional, and yet the magistrate told us to always stay cool........=.=

Still, I wanna thank my teacher, Mdm Chong, our teacher in charge, Miss Serena Liew, our coach, and the team members!

• Jordan
• Sheldon
• Kai
  
• Andrea
• Robin
• Eric Chia
• Howard
• Shawn

I am really glad to know Andrea and Eric through this competition. Andrea is really steady, cause she's our school representative in Speech competitions, and Eric is really good int thinking ideas and important points, I'm so proud of them!!


The next round will be held in KK! Wheeeee~ Skating!!!

Posts and entries....

My post lacks entries, I feel so sorry for my blog..... I wanna blog, but somehow time wont allow it. I'll be back blog!

ps: this doesnt mean this blog is inactive :p

Thoughts....

I have been doing some thinking.....

I'm the only son in my family. My mom is counting on me for the future. And my parents won't live forever... Yes, I know this is a big responsibility, one wrong move and it's over....

I always tell myself to be more diligent, yet I'm slacking and leaving a pile of homework ; i told myself that i have to exercise more, but still I'm a so lazy to move a muscle; I always tell myself, to be polite to people, yet I can be rude sometimes.....

SPM is coming this year, I must work harder, my mom really has hope in me, i cannot let it to waste. My dad and her saved money for my studies, my dad worked hard for the sake of our home, my mom works hard by being a mother, fetching her children here and there, cook 3 meals a day for her children, do the chores just the keep the house tidy.

I must work harder, so my mom, and my dad, won't suffer so much.

I promise.

Simon's blog

See, what did I tell ya? Just the first few days of blogging and BOOM! He's blog became a fav of everybody who knows him.

"Simon is a nice guy to meet :p" - Jordan

Judging by the statement he made, it's obvious that everyone likes Simon.

"I like reading he's blog, he turns everything into something interesting to read" - Phui

And by that, it's also very obvious that He's blogging/writing skills are way better. (:

http://originationz.blogspot.com/ So why not try it out now? Just copy paste the link and feast your eye with something that will WOW you.

Once again, Simon, WELCOME TO THE BLOGGING WORLD. (:

WOW~~~~

WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Simon started blogging!!!

I'm so proud of simon. He's creative, he's smart, and now he started blogging, I'm very sure his blog will be very interesting. it's true, someone as creative and talented as him types the best posts around...

I LAUGHED READING HIS ENTRIES!!! xD

well i'll link him soon, stay tuned! =D

OMG!!!

OMG

Homeworks are pilling up!!! GOSH!! There's a competition in a few days!! gotta prepare!!! =)
heh, I was nagged by my friend for not doing homework in time, now i have to rush everything in just one day, I've learnt my lesson... :p

WTF this " :p " thing looks way cuter in blogger~~

Still same old same old, fucking pissed in school. But still i feeel much happier since I had a competition to prepare, I'll cherish the moments since it COULD be my last year.... :p

Brainstorm.....

I'm having a brainstorm............ Get fcked up easily by almost everything, well of course for a reason. The line is being GAY lately..........

FUCK!

I cant do anything when this lagging line, and people keeps using my stuffs without asking my permission, once again......

FUCK!

I'm just feeling everything. Happy, sad, angry, grief, sorrow, idiotic, etc simultaneously!! And again....

FUCK!

You might feel the anger I'm feeling right now. I gotta admit this is the only post that contain the f-word more than once.

I AM REALLY PISSED!!! FUCK!! >=(

The first three months are gone....

The first three months are gone. It's finally April.... it's not too late to make your and by your I mean my priority straight. Study hard, work hard and play less. It's true that we must sacrifice something to get better results. I opt to sacrifice my online times....though this decision was painful....

So many things to do. There's CO camp this May, a could-be CO solo competition, if possible, Mock-Trial, dont forget SPM!! and yea yang qin grade 5 and YY's night..... Oh please let all of these things go through smoothly. Especially the bolded ones.... ALL OF THEM @@

Wish me luck, my days of onlining are getting shorter, though i wil still be on MSN...=)

Sports day (ii)

"RED HOUSE RED HOUSE RED HOUSE!!!" ; "红队加油！红队加油！红队加油！"

Those were the cheers worth shouting for ; Our throat is worth soring for; Our sweat is worth it all; Our muscles were worth aching for; Our shoulders are worth stiffening for.
We cheered and we cheered.....finally.......

RED HOUSE WON COMPLETELY!

Featuring: 1st for male marching team, 2nd for female marching team, 1st for cheerleading, 1st for male TUG-OF-WAR, 3rd for female tug of war, 1st for male group A(seniors) ,1st for female group A, 3rd for female group B(juniors), 2nd for male group B, AND!!!! 1st for total results. aka. Among the three houses, RED HOUSE got 1st.

TUG-OF-WAR

I specially highlighted this part cause I remembered it most and of course, I was in the team...=D
Today's match is Blue house males agaisnt us, the RED house males.

• 1st round ended within 6 seconds. RED house won!
• 2nd round took 10 seconds. RED house won AGAIN!

But that's not all, five males from the winning team and five females front he winning team join forces to beat.....TEACHER'S TEAM!!! WE LOST BOTH ROUNDS!!! =(

This video features the tug of war between blue and red. 1st round is red house at the right while 2nd is on the left. The other video on the left shows the defeat of the student's team. xD

There was also a war between blue house and red house. It happened during the award giving ceremony.
Blue and reds, furious fights. Not fighting lah, just keep shouting our slogans, cheering bla bla bla....xD



' I hereby announce that the 45th Yu Yuan annual sports day is now officially closed!'

The ending of a glorious and unforgettable sports day.

We took a RED house photo that consists of all the RED house members. but some went missing... photos i'll get it somehow...

Finally everything ended with us RED house members shouting....

"We're not bookworms, we're CHAMPIONS!"

• 
  

”我们不是书虫，我们是冠军！“

ps: More photos of this years sports day will be uploaded as soon as I get them. stay tuned!

Sports day!!

'I hereby announce that the Yu Yuan secondary school 45th annual Sports day is officially opened!'

That marks the official beginning of our schools sports. Yesterday, Today and tomorrow is our annual three-days sports day. First day was for the rehearsals, and 2nd day is the official competition for both cheer leading and marching. Yea it's hella fun.

For two days my house (red house) is in the lead, it's a miracle! For almost ten years we never had this kind of results, it's a great improvement. =) Especially the runners for the 3000m race. Two from our house run non-stop, they won first price, and the amazing part is, the first price and 2nd price winner has a difference of 1 WHOLE ROUND!! o.o

RED HOUSE:

• Male marching team 1st prize
• Female marching team 2nd prize
• Cheer leading 1st prize
• 1st
  

YELLOW HOUSE:

• Male marching team 2nd prize
• Female marching team 3rd prize
• Cheerleading 2nd prize
• 2nd
  

BLUE HOUSE:

• Male marching team 3rd prize
• Female marching team 1st prize
  
• Cheerleading 3rd prize
• 3rd

WE ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!! My first time marching for Red house and we got first prize! =)

Here are some pictures!!! Enjoy =)
From the left: Trophy for male marching team, 1st prize for the total result, trophy for female marching team.


Red house 'Shield' ( I forgot what it's named in english..)Red house flag. =)Red house male cheer leading outfit.S2A male marching team members. =)
WHEEE~~ From the left: Su Tien, Simon, Stella, Shawn, Tzy tyng and ME~

The jumping continues....

From the left:Su tien and Simon.
From the left: Tyng, Me and Stella
Dont forget our MISS KWAN!! Lols, we almost called her to jump with us! xD

After taking pictures with Miss Kwan, she keeps praising S2A boys being very strong. Cause you see, yesterday there was a tuck-of-war between yellow house and red house. Almost every year red house lost...MIRACULOUSLY! RED HOUSE WON THE FIRST ROUND!! And I was in the team... gg

Tomorrow will be the finals for tuck-of-war. I'm so nervous. My muscles ached alot...=(
AND! Interesting part is, tomorrow tuck of war will be very special....what's so special about it...stay tuned tomorrow! =)

ps: More pictures for sports day can be found in my friendster profile, the FRIENDS album and the 'things' album @( http://profiles.friendster.com/cobbiewalker) or just click the links given at the left side of this blog. Enjoy

Her...

I turned on my computer, log into friendster, and saw that my love meter for my horoscope today is off the charts, i was so glad, yet more nervous. What should I do next?

I wonder, why does the main character of an anime, always had good things waiting for them, why didn't we consider the other characters?

We've seen lots of movie, that love stories couldn't escape guys doing lots of things for a girl just to win her heart. Take my friend MK for example, he spent lots of money and time for his crush, even though in the end he gave up, he was at the edge of getting his crush to be his girlfriend...

Courage or materials ; Looks or Personality ; Brains or Bronze? Which is important to win a girl's heart?

I..didn't do much for her.... I didn't spend almost half of my fortune on her, I didn't spend more time with her, is it then that I don't deserve her? I don't know....=(

I'm a fool for wanting to date her with no conditions, it's not like i can spend MORE time with her cause I'm having SPM this year; It's not like i can give her happiness cause I couldn't buy things for her due to shortage of money ; It's not like I can ACTUALLY make her feel safe and comfy...

Could I be thinking too much? That there's even a chance that she will accept the likes of me?

Somehow, i wished she will accidentally read this.....

Random...

Wtf...I've been kinda arguing with my mom, about anything i guess.. Few days EASILY pissed off by anything.. Like she's complaining I'm sitting in front the computer, complaining that I'm talking back about my mom complaining etc.. I mean, what have I become? I always been the silent one and let her complain everything, but now, grrrrrrrrrrrr, just getting Pissed......

I'm so dizzy, I don't like arguing. What the fick am I? I hate myself.

Just now, I walked out to take my take out, looked up the starry, half mooned night sky, it was cloudless, the view was just perfect. I wish my mom and my relationship could be just like always, perfect like the dark clear night sky, the Moon, caring her little stars..=)




(gah, I blog this pic only, hahha, cause erm, i dunno! xP)

The imperfect me, imperfect skin, imperfect body, imperfect...erm...what so ever! =(

I really gotta put some pics with my mom...putting my camwhore pics isn't all that fun...=(

Fun part overture

Haha! Fun part overture! Went shopping with my friend, in center point and then she brought me to Fish & Co. She had salmon, I had fish and chips, I don't like fish anyways..xD

I enjoyed shopping with my friend, but i hope i didn't bore her, cause we'll I need to walk around buying things and she likes complaining that she really hungry...=(

See that? That's the ice rink, without ice! My cousin brought me here...used one hour to learn skating, the other hour going round and round the rink... =)

This is my cousin and I. xD

Well, before shopping and skating I did go to Thsung Tsin to visit some of the CO friends there and yea, ask Amanda taught me some techniques, and I gotta admit, she's the best! Hope she's reading this...xD

Conclusion to my March holiday break, I had fun without turning on the computer, I had fun going outdoors, and I got a whole lot FATTER! xD

ps: Sorry Jordan for tagging you? I dont know what you did but erm I think you're kinda frustrated about that. Sorry..=) And hope your reading this, happy reading. =D

Here's the fat part...xD

Hah! Here comes the FAT part! Damn, just the night I arrived KK, my relatives brought me to a restaurant and omg my aunt kept pushing foods into my mouth, she keeps saying, ' Eat, eat eh, dont worry, we're full.' Oh shit...T_T

FOOD FOOD FOOD = FAT FAT FAT...

well not allowed to take pictures of my food, so i took the picture of the last station of fat supply..
Golden Lounge..

Oh yea, there's also Little Italy..

Haha, tissue..xD

First of, Garlic bread. =)

And erm a dish that's made of 4 kinds of cream... FAT!! xD
Dont forget the pizza! =D

The fun part continues...

Heh, that was camp, now it's marching practice! Heck, the first day i went for practice and they thought us the important things...THANK GOD!! I was going to KK on the 3rd day of practice, cause I need to accompany my mom who has been in KK for the last 5 days or so...o.O

Here are some pictures during practice....ATTEEENTION!!!


But wtf every one's slacking..While we're sitting under the scorching sun resting......

We're watching Malaysia' next top models marching..go go GARY!

Look at them doing the cat..MARCH!

And after that day, I'm packing for KK~!

My March Holiday Break..

Heh, one more day, school reopens. One more day, everyone will be in uniforms and ties, a spectacular sight! Well there are so many words to describe these holiday break. The few main points are... FAT & FUN! xD

Fun, well I've been hearing people saying that their holiday has been quite boring. Hmmm, first of with Recycle Camp. joining us are Ho Phui Phui, MK, Robin, etc. Them, together with two girls from Senior one and me are in a group. Well we're not the best, but we're very cooperative in activities. But still I'm not very happy to hear Robin complaining about the camp and stuff.. sorry Bin..=) But we did manage to grab the prize for best presentation and best group. We're doing a presentation on Orang Utans so yea, that's the fun part of this camp.

Follow the people~

Orpahns baby Orang utans need delicate care just like a human, they need to be fed with milk every 4 hour, cuddled, pampered, given warm baths and clothes. This is really a warm sight...

I was so ficking nervous during the presentation, maybe it's because they're all from differet classes and stuff... and the thing is the guy who took picture of our presentation didn't give us the photos. DAMN!!!

Still, thanks to everyone in our group to make this presentation worth while. Thanks for everyone's cooperation and dedication. =)

To be continued.......

ps: I'll upload the photos as soon as i get the pictures. Stay tuned. =)

SPARE ME!!! xD

Anita..spare me!! But it's fun...=D

001. Real name: Lim Jia Hann

002. Nickname: Black chicken professor, fag, black cock..( call me that and you suffer..)

003. Married: Nope...

005. Male or female: D-uh male..

007. Highschool: Yu Yuan!!

008. College: Not there yet..

010. Short or long hair: Short hair cause the school wants it..i want longer hair!!

015. Are you a health freak: Sometimes...-_-

016. Height: Forgot but i'm hella short...T-T

017.Do you have a crush on someone: YES YES YES!!

018. Do you like yourself: I dont like myself, i love myself..=)

019. Piercings: NO!!

021 Righty or lefty: Righty..=.=

022. First sugery: Never had one, but hope i will not have one either...

023. First piercing(s): Never had one!

024. First person u see in the morning : Myself in the mirror..(=

025. First award: Something from kindergarten? I forgot.. i was soooo young...

026. First sport you join: Swimming...

027. First pet: DOGGY!!

028. First vacation: In my mother's stomach, they went to sdyney! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!

029. First Concert: Haven't been one i think...

030. First Crush: Hmm..back till primary four...she's the best!

049. Eating: Avocado with ice cream!!!

050.Drinking: nothing..?

052.I'm about to: Scream in HAPPINESS!!! wheeeeeeeeeee~

58. Want kids: Yes! But they better behave..

059. Want to get married: =)

060. Careers in mind: Dentistry..

068. Lips or Eyes: HUH?? <------- Dont understand...

069. Hugs or kisses: BOTH BOTH BOTH!!! xD

070. Shorter ot taller : Taller i guess

072. Romantic or spontaneous: Mixture of both...xD

074. Sensitive or loud : Also a mixture of both!

075. Trouble maker or hesitant: Both but more to hesitant, im a gud boy..xD

078. Kissed a stranger: NO WAY!

079. Drank bubbles: What the hell??

080. Lost glasses/contacts: Wear them never lost 'em.. never did contacts either...

081. Ran away from home: Thought of it before, when i was really down..=(

082. Liked someone younger: YES!

083. Liked someone older: DOUBLE YES!

084. Broken someone's heart: Never did...but wait..does parents count?

085. Been arrested: Never did and never will!!

087: Cried when someone died: Havent experienced it yet..but hope not so soon...=(

088. Liked a friend: Oh yes i did!

089. Yourself: well.ummm........YES!!

090. Miracles: A lot....

092. Heaven: Better than hell? LoL anita, not copying yours..

093. Santa Claus: Never did... but i wonder...

095. Magic: ALWAYS DID!! LOVE 'EM

096. Angels: Hoped they're true..=D

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now: YES! But better not mention...xD

099. Do you believe in God: Yes, I believe in god =)

100. Tag 5 people: I dont wanna do this but..............
1) Cathz [You can tag it along with Anita's]
2) Phui!nyd[ you owe me alot]
3) MK [ do it if you are free]
4) Hong-Noon
5) Jeremy

Anita done it again....

List out the top 5 presents you wish for:
1) FAIRER SKIN!! T-T
2) GET TALLER!
3)NO quarrels...=.=
4)Unlimited time for me to spend with everyone!!!
5)MONEY!!!! BWAHAHAHA!!

5 impression of her (Anita):
1. seductive
2. fair skin
3. a foreigner
4. unique
5. V.A.I.N

Most memorable things he/she done for you:
She gave me the responsible of taking care of someone, she trusts me! =)

most memorable word he/she said to you:
I'm vain and Im proud of it! xD

If he/she becomes my lover:
God I'm lucky! xD

If he/she becomes your enemy the reason will be:
Arguing about something i guess? NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! =D

Pass the quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you:
1) Anita
2) Cathz
3) MK
4) Phui!nyd
5) Jordan
6)Bren
7) Stewie
8) Bernice
9) milkiss
10)Shawn

Who is no.7 having a relationship with ?
Oh he's waiting for it alright...=D

If no.9 and no.1 are together,will it be a good thing?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAY!

What about no.1 and no.5?
NOT A BAD IDEA!! xD

What is no.3 studying?
Form 5

When was the last time you chatted with no.6?
Two nights before

Does no.8 have any cousin(s) in his/her school?
Noooooooooo idea...=.=

Will you woo no.8?
We'll see we'll see......xD

How about no.5?
He'd kill me as well! xD

Does no.2 have any siblings?
YES!

How did you get to know about no.3?
Primary School!!!

No.4?
Same~!

Where does no.1 live at?
Now is in KL, back then here with us....T-T Miss her!

How did you get to know no.2?
Thru blogging world! YAAAAAAAAAAAY CATHZ!

Is no.5 the sexiest person in the world?
No comment..he'll kill me if he reads this, but i gotta admit he's thin@@ *envies*

Gah I got tagged? Woots that? Thanks Anita! xD

8 Random Facts Rules & regulations.
1) Each person tagged must post these rules.
2) They must post 8 random facts about themselves.
3) When I say random, I mean R-A-N-D-O-M.
4) You'll have to elaborate about the facts.
5) The blogger shall then tag 8 of their pitiful friend


1) I'm dark!
Duh! I'm so hell-a dark you cant miss me.

2) Regretted in taking golf!
Taking golf makes my skin dark, that's why i regretted it, but learning it was fun!

3)I love myself but not vain...narcissistic?
HAH! Easy to notice that I'm narcissistic right? Hello? Look that the picture i posted about me. It spells out N-A-R-C-I-S-S-I-S-T-I-C!

4) I love drinking milk!
I CANT HELP IT! I'm lactose intolerant yet i love milk, mostly chocolate, cream, strawberry and non fat. Favourite brand is DH Marigold that one... LOVES IT! xD

5) I'm single
Yea one of the most important fact about Anson, I'm single!!!! Too bad, they don't know what they're missing!! xD

6) My feeling are a little unstable...
I can get angry at someone, but get happy easily by something else.

7) I love science class and MUSIC!!
I love science class!! All those complicated equations, chemicals, physical terms, biological thingys, and music is just as complicated as science, man i Love it!

8) I appreciate you guys as my friends
Hey, you guys whose reading this, I appreciate you soooooooooo much!

Erm gonna tag.........gg
1) Cathz!
2)Anita
3)Stewie
4)Jordan
5)Jaja
6)Phui!nyd
7)MK
8)Hong-Noon

Goodbyes~

Well, it was the 2nd day of mid-term exams, and I gotta say, i wished it was the last day of mid term, cause today was too relaxed, next week will be bad....physics...chemistry.... Add maths... gah..

Hey, today's 29th of Febuary, four years once! This is nice...=D

Had lunch with my mom at Thsung Ngen, and we talked alot, about the elections, about politics and even my mom's childhood. I love listening to my mom's childhood and my mom talking about my childhood. Speaking, came across a song from my childhood last night, it's by The New Seekers- i'd like to teach the world to sing. but i uploaded a more pop version by Berget Lewis, cause the new seekers are from the 70's. Check out the video, it's quite nice. Both new and old.

Okay! Back to the story, so my mom said when I little I'm cute, loves to sing and dance ----->lol<----- ?
(Picture provided by Howard...thank you!)

Yea, my mom said I'm cute back then, but now i don't know...=__=

"My sister and I have my mother's eye...sigh..." quote Anson. xD

And...I gotta say... GOODBYE AGAIN PESSIMISTIC ME AND WELCOME BACK OPTIMISTIC ME! This few weeks I was quite down, but I have friends to guide me and heck, I feel much better, plus i found a childhood song of mine, and i feel something is going to get better, I'll just wait and see... =D

I'm just random...

You know what? I've been doing some thinking and I really got to change the way I think or certain things.

I'm blessed with eyes, to see the beautiful creation of this world, to see what's going on around me, to see people come and go, to see how wonderful my friends are; I'm blessed with ears, to receive the knowledge that I hear, to listen to the beautiful melodies of life, to listen what people has to say about certain things, to listen to notes of people nagging about me; I'm blessed with a mouth, to say out my deepest sorrows, to speak out how I feel about somethings. I'm blessed with hands, to give support to the world and play music with both of my hands. I'm blessed with a heart, to feel what's it's like to be human, to feel happiness, rejoice, sorrow, pain, agony. i"m blessed with a brain, to think logically, to think before i act, to think what's right and what's wrong.

Yet... am i using them properly? I'm using my ears, listening to unwanted things that affects me, i'm using my mouth, speaking rubbish all the time and not making any sense, I'm misusing my heart, to feel sad all the time and jealous most of the time. I'm using my brain the wrong way, thiking how negative I am, thinking that I shouldnt be in this world....

I'd like the world to know, how wrong it is to feel what I feel. I'll tried to be better, but am I progressing? I need guidance....

I suck!

Huuray! i suck! Well im not being pessimistic just, not so many good things about me, why not think about the bad things about me? Come one dont be shy! TELL ME!

I really want to thank Cathz for telling me that my skin tone is not suitable for me, noone told me that. People just said im dark but didnt mention about that. So...THANK YOU!

I am a born loser, never had anything that I'm good at, better not live anyways...=D Plus, so many people out there being better than me by 101% so why bother...?

Tell me! I want to know, how sucky I am, how I bad I am being a human!JUST TELL ME! =D

Mid term

Well, is that time once again, mid-term exams are approaching fast! Looks like I'm not gonna be online for awhile, so take care. Cant wait for mid-term to end ASAP!! Cause after mid term will be MARCHING PRACTICE!! First day's bio, I don't know whether i can survive it...we'll see...we'll see...

Him...

There are so many things that I want to tell him. Things that I've been holding back since the first day he starts avoiding me. Call me dumb, but for so long I've never had the guts to talk to him ever again. Avoiding me has been a sight that I've been seeing for the past two years.

I remembered once that i sat on his chair, he seemed quite disturbed, when I left, he took a cleaning agent and wiped his chair clean. That I really wished I've never seen. And another time, when it was English lesson and we got arranged in the same group along with four other persons. That was the time we finally said somethings, though i felt unpleasant, cause, when I found out we're in the same group, I'm afraid I'm afraid that I'm gonna be avoided/ignored. Even now inc lass, there's no way he'll talk to someone who he has been avoiding for sometimes. Yes, we do talk sometimes, but only short sentences...

Since the day he started avoiding me, I've never seen him in my MSN contacts again. At first I thought he just offline, but something tells me that he deleted me in his contact. last year i added him back cause we have to discuss about the project.

HE REALLY IS AN AMAZING PERSON. He's good in speaking, he's good in writing, he's good studying, he's good in sports, he's good in being a friend. Everyone just loves him, everyone wants to be his friend, everyone wants to know him! xD

Sometimes, I wished that i wasn't in places where he is. I', afraid that my presence will spoil his fun. But, am I thinking too much? What if he doesn't hate me anymore? What if, instead I'm the one avoiding him? What if he's cleaning his chair cause it's dirty?

I treasure him as a friend, and feel hurt for losing him as a friend. I really hoped that, we will be like old times, where we had our laughs together, played together, and had fun together, as friends. But will it happen again?

I owe...

I owe MK and apology....

It's just that, for someone who seldoms got scolded/caught by the teacher for not being attentive, I really lost my mood, and MK, who was sitting beside me, asked whether I'm okay but i didn't bother him...and i gotta say, he...erm...kinda 'laughed' at me for being so narrow-minded about being caught by the teacher and stuff... Well, I'm just not as perfect as Mk, he's carefree, I'm not. He doesn't feel a thing when he's caught not being attentive, well me? I really mind being caught by the teacher... I will blame myself for letting my mind wander off or couldnt resist the urge to chat with somebody... Still, after school I kinda notice Mk talking about this "issue" and I really owe him an apology...

I appreciate Mk as a friend, we spent good times together, I dont know does he feel the same cause he has SO MANY friends to consider, everyone just loves him...The lovely times in camp...MK is the one smiling...

Happy times in Ms Kwan's house bbq with S2a classmates...xD Poor MK got blocked by retarding Robin... xD

I dont want to be like that....

I'm jealous.... because there are so many things that i'm not good at, I'm not good at speaking like Jordan and MK, not good at memorizing stuffs like MK, not good looking like most of the friends i know and some other stuff. Yea i admit i get jealous, dunno why, must be the 'kia-shu' nature of me? But i hate being jealous, i just wished I'm more open minded about things...

A friend told me, that people can be good at stuffs and bad at stuffs, it's just see what the things are.... well I'll try my best to be more open-minded ok?

Future tenses...

I'm starting to get worried about my future...maybe it's because my dad and I finally had 'the talk' and since then I keep worrying about my future.. Until now I still cant decide whether to stay for UEC or quickly go to 'A' level... So worried that I've been in the downcast for quite awhile.. I've I leave now, I won't waste a year studying for UEC cause the course that I'm interested in does not require UEC, but I do leave, there's one thing that i couldn't let go... ORCHESTRA... I couldn't bare to see our little percussionist on thier own yet, there's so many things they haven't learnt yet... and the oldest amongst them are only JUNIOR 2 this year! And Ho Phui Phui mentioned about conducting work and if I leave after this year we have to find a new conductor and train him/her fast!

Sometimes, I just wish time would go slower and let me think clearly, and not to mention prepare SPM... Jonathan was always right... It's not too late to act now...

Even my horoscope(capricorn) for today...20th of Febuary... said that I've have to put some effort consider about my future and not about who will i have fun with today or anyday... weird huh?

I know!

What do you want from me? I know I'm already Form 5, I know SPM will be waiting at the end of the year! I know I always sit in front of the computer but I'm not even playing games! Stop saying that I on the computer just to play games! And I know I seldom run on the treadmill, you don't always have to nag OK? I KNOW YOU DARE TO CONFISCATE MY COMPUTER AND DUMP THEM OR WHATEVER YOU'RE GONNA DO TO THEM WHEN YOU REALLY LOSE YOUR TEMPER!

SO? Like hello I'm already 17 I know what I'm doing so could you stop nagging and just let me do my business?

DAMN!

Im retarded...

You know what? I've just realize something, I am dumb for being heart broken over somethings that's none of my business... What made me think of this way? It's the result of talking, talking and more talking with the ones I trusted and they gave me advice...

Conclusion, I'm dumb for being heart broken...that's all...

I felt..

I once felt happy...

I once felt sad...

I once felt dissapointed...

I once felt embarassed...

I ALWAYS felt annoyed...but what the heck..it's life....

But now...i felt heart broken... never...in my entire life I never felt like this, but now, i felt heart borken, not just any normal heart broken, this heart broken really is something to do with my blog title...LOVE...

True, im not a successor in love, who would want someone like me? Plus im not someone like Gary, he's a love god, and who would forget Robert? And Simon, and Cathz, and Bernice, and Daniel, Eugene and Peggy? It's just, I'm not cut out for love, I fell for person's who's already taken, and as times pass more and more of my friend get involved in love, and right now, someone felt a certain chemistry with someone, I'm just, really heartbroken. Not that I'm jealous, it's just.......................UGH! I don't know how to explain it..........................

Heartbroken? Who would not fell it? I wanna cry in the dark where none can listen to me, I wanna weep when noone's looking, I wanna let a single drop of tear drop and evaporate into the air that im breathing, cause I really am heartborken...

What a day...

"Class....why is it like this?" Few silent moments later........ "You know I really dislike asking you guys questions, and right now i really want to slap someone in the face!"


That really got everyone's attention, making the classroom even more pin drop silence, the atmosphere is getting pretty tensed, and Mr A was staring at his students. The weather outside was wet, cold air blew through the gaps of the door, making the classroom colder, and he continued, "'B'(false name used..again....) Are you already very great in this subject? Don't show me those attitude!" He continued with his lesson...


Then... he asked a question again, I got nervous, i quickly scanned the paper afraid that he might ask me questions, and that's when it happened..


"Anson Lim, what are you doing there?" I stared at the teacher, holding myself back from answering him. He continued, "You are also one of those who seldom pays attention when I'm speaking in class, it has been one year since last year, you can get high marks in my subject is it? Don't blame me when you didnt get good results." I got pawned...


It's just 'B' and I were scolded, some other classmates of us also got killed, but B and I were the more serious ones.... Well eventually I told some of my friends, some believed what i was doing some did not, t's just, i really wished that Mr A will know what i was doing back then. True I sometimes doesn't pay attention to him cause I could be tired at times , but i can give a 100% that when i concentrate i really concentrate till i write every points the teacher says.. =(

My horoscope says...

'It's a good time to write down your feelings or experiences in some way -- in a letter to a friend, a blog entry or even a love note. Your creative energy is prefect for communicating clearly.'

That's what my horoscope said today...weird enough, since the year of the mouse started, i keep getting stuffs like this if not it will be like my love line is good tis year bla bla bla... Well, i really hoped that it's true...=D What? Can't a single guy dream? XD

My creative energy? HA! that's hilarious... especially the love note part, no lovers for me to give notes to, oh well, gonna blog instead...=D

My feelings?? Hmm...No idea what to write, it's just that it's finally Chinese new year, which means holidays...yay...lion dances...yay..fireworks..more yay...ANGPOW!!! YAY!!!!!! First day of CNy met Robert, Sheldon and JordaN...apparently Sheldon likes calling my nickname...good for you ***lord...Missed out the chance to go to Alex's house cause went to Heye's house instead...=D

Oh yea, the first day of CNY...man i'm gonna remember that day...i made lots of confession to a particular friend of mine, spilt bunch of stuffs..even the L word confession...well i didnt expect anything so that's fine, on the last msg we had, my friend type..

"Are you sleepy or something?"

"No...why? You sleepy?"

"No not at all..."

"..." just as i was going to click send.. I FEEL ASLEEP!!!! BOo...

I dont feel like myself lately... I couldnt BE myself when I'm with my family, in school, oh yea that's the true me...CRAZY! Always loved hanging around with friends, eventhough MK likes poking and it's reeeeeeeaaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyy annoying, but hey, I enjoy every second i have in school, wether im having my menstrual or not..XD

Speaking of menstrual...it has been a hot topic within my group of friends...isn't that right MK?

"I love her, but I couldn't....oh well..."

Keep liking someone who's already taken...why me??!

Missed the days Cheung Heye sat between MK and I, enjoy looking at them quarrel all the time...man they're hilarious.... now she moved to somewhere near Howard..her LOVAR! Joking!!

SO anyways... I admire bunch of people...take 'A'(still not gonna use real name darlings) for example, he's good in making friends, good in hitting on girls( i think), GOOD LOOKING!
And dont forget Anita, she's great in many ways...i'll leave these for you guys to find out, all i can say is, she's not the one i have a crush on...XD

BERNICE!!!!! Why does zachary keep wanting your phone number but i still dont give him? LOL!

Mk...you should really stop poking me and start paying attention to what the teacher says...especially BIO, whether you want it or not....

THIS! Ladies and gentlemen, has been a very EMO entry so far...continue when i get the chance again.... LOVE all of you, except a bunch of certain someones.... you know.... XD