Sunny skies, sandy beaches, gentle waves.

Sunny skies, sandy beaches, gentle waves. That's what I really wish to be in now. To be able to sit under the warm gentle sun, to be able to listen to the gentle waves slowly beating onto the sandy shore. To listen to the seagulls softly whispering with each other, to be able to listen to the coconut trees leafs rattle and battle softly upon the soft and cooling breeze, to feel calm, tranquil and no worries. The swaying of the coconut trees, the soft Caribbean music playing me into a relaxed slumber.

Let's step into my inner world....

The hustle and bustle of city streets, the constant darkness I be in when I have noone around. The temptations, the horrors. The untrustables, the distance between friendships. The emotional breakdowns. The ballads that I always listen, rings so strongly inside myself. How I wish you knew, that how much I need you. I feel like running away, towards that sunny beach that I crave for, but I can't abandoned you. You avoid my gaze, withdraw from me these days, you punished me for trying to be what you wanted.

What more can I do?

In order to please you, I abandoned myself.

Yet slowly....

I'm walking away from this chaotic city life, and retreated myself to the sunny beaches that I aspire to go so much. I'm starting to strip myself again, showing that bare, and true self. Slowly, I realized the scars that I once had. I dismissed them.

As I walk towards serenity within myself, I find that, I brought you along into my serenity.

You appeared in both my chaotic and serene world. I guess, I am still very in love with you.

我很矛盾。